The Grauniad is mad:
The Guardian has learned that Jack Straw, the foreign secretary, has made a personal plea to his American counterpart, Condoleezza Rice, for the US to withdraw opposition to plans for wholesale reform of the UN. He has asked Ms Rice to rein in John Bolton, the US ambassador to the world body.
If only Jack Straw would grow a pair and focus some attention on "reigning in" Iran's nuclear program. Hope springs eternal.
But back that mean Mr. Bolton:
Mr Bolton has thrown the reform negotiations into disarray by demanding a catalogue of late changes to a 40-page draft document which is due to go before the summit in New York on Wednesday.
Throwing things into disarray by demanding a catalogue! What a bastard! Doesn't he know how to shop online?
Mr Bolton, one of the US administration hawks, became ambassador last month only after a long confrontation with the US senate, mainly caused by his ideological dislike of the UN.
This is the world of the Grauniad, where cause and effect are subjective. Meanwhile, on planet Earth, the "long confrontation with the Senate" was "caused" by ... intransigent senators, including a few spineless Republicans.
But luckily, the Grauniad has its priorities in order:
Mr Straw spoke to Ms Rice in a three-way conference call last Tuesday organised by Kofi Annan, the UN secretary general, to try to break the deadlock.
Mr Annan has been weakened by the criticisms voiced this week by an inquiry into the UN's running of the Iraq oil-for-food programme and needs a successful summit to avoid renewed calls for his resignation.
As Andy Sullivan might say: Heavens to Betsy! We wouldn't want Kofi to have to resign! Tell that Bolton bastard to get out of the way so that Kofi can have a successful summit and not have to resign!
Let's have Kofi frog-walked in irons remember the pressures that a UN Secretary General is under. It's like every greedy, incompetent no good deed goes unpunished. We ought to put lipstick on that Armadillo and give Kofi his summit.
But what is it about this summit that's just so darned important? The Grauniad's penultimate paragraph tells us what's really on its mind:
There is a divide over the definition of terrorism, with pro-Palestinian states objecting that the proposed terminology be amended to exclude Palestinian fighters.
Yes, let's exclude "Palestinian fighters" from the definition of "terrorism" so that they can continue to kill Jews. But if a suicide bomber blows himself up in a London tube station, the "t" word is fair game.
And then there's this:
Ricardo Alarcon, speaker of the Cuban parliament, whose hopes of attending the summit along with President Fidel Castro were dashed when he was denied a visa by the US, said in Havana the summit "has been totally devalued, its original purpose kidnapped".
Filthy, mean, stupid Americans! They denied a visa to Ricardo Alarcon and Fidel Castro! To what levels of villainy will Bushitler and his attack dog Bolton stoop next?
We're being mean to Kofi, Alarcon, and Fidel. And the Brits want to put a stop to it.
Try and squeeze that between your eye sockets.
UPDATE: Captain Ed has some related observations.
Comments