Heeeere, kitty-kitty!

This is straight out of a 1930s horror movie.  Read it only if you dare:

Inventor denies using dead cats for fuel

BERLIN - A German inventor said he has developed a method to produce crude oil products from waste that he believes can be an answer to the soaring costs of fuel, but denied a German newspaper story implying he also used dead cats.

Wait a minute.  He's German, right?  'Must have a vaguely evil-sounding accent, and I'll bet that he does his "experiments" in some dark castle, preferably up on a hill where it's always dark and a thunderstorm is always brewing, and everything is in black and white.

So far, I like it.  But who is this guy, really?

Christian Koch, an inventor and patent holder of the “KDV 500” that he said produces high quality fuel, said he can transform waste products such as paper, rubbish and plastic materials into fuel.

But Koch, 55, said there was no truth to stories published in Bild newspaper on Tuesday and Wednesday that suggested he used dead cats as part of the mix for his organic diesel fuel.

“I use paper, plastics, textiles and rubbish,” Koch told Reuters.

“It’s an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it’s complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I’ve never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in.”

Yeah, sure, Mr. Koch, we believe you.  Just the "odd toad."  Okay, got'cha on that.  Wink-wink, say no more.

Obviously, this has all been the result of a terrible misunderstanding.

Bild on Tuesday wrote a headline: “German inventor can turn cats into fuel -- for a tank he needs 20 cats.” The paper on Wednesday followed up with a story entitled: “Can you really make fuel out of cats?”

A spokesman for Bild told Reuters the story was meant to show that cat remains could “in theory” be used to make fuel with Koch’s patented method.

The author of the story said Koch had never told him directly that he had used dead cats as the story implied.

So now the cover-up begins.  Cat remains could only be used "in theory."  I get it.  Notice how the article conveniently avoids any mention of live cats.  Yeah, that's right.  Live cats, I'm telling you!  They're alive when they're thrown into Mr. Koch's fuel machine!  AAA-LIIIIVE, I tell you!

Er, is that the sound of angry villagers with torches and pitchforks pounding at the castle door?

UPDATE:  My first link from Gut Rumbles!  Oh, man, this makes my day.  Maybe I could get some help with this question.